This is a conversation that typically a leader would hold with an employee on their unit or team. Difficult conversations can be uncomfortable, but with training and practice, you too can hold difficult conversations – successfully. Our challenge: the situation is more complex than either person alone can see. Although the model was originally developed for conversations with physicians, it is easily adapted to all employee groups and is a conversation that can be held with peers, employees, or even your boss. I noticed that you didn't wash your hands when you entered the patient's room. Difficult conversations are an unfortunate yet inevitable part of life. Most of us try to avoid them altogether. Confrontation suggests meeting someone face-to-face with hostile intent. 2 0 obj Why? You’ll want to … Now back to the difficult conversation models. This doesn't live our values or standards and is concerning to me." x�ŝY�\�u���W䛯 "�~h\_�u[��MA/z)����ER,�~}gV�}N����dQ� \����iOk���ݿ���s��{�ۥZ�%�J������_vov�����^����\?=|������?L8|"���?O�v��x����?��v����۝�=~������=���?���ߘ�^ !�~����@�����O�px:T�x0�g���>�;�|G�?���8���eI�4�v�1���7��e���|��8bV#q����3i���jg�6Ǒ�q�X���M��܎�u{;~���udnf;R���n�L��qB��v���D�2��>��K��2�r�Ln�]X�4{:!�/Mx��w�Sm�op�S�۸)��I\��T�O��4r��U9�5�+�h�M��� )���-��/-aٹ�ᄔTaEK��=����V�V׆�6�qYF�u�L�pBjq�2޹ږs�lin�i��B�V�%�>��J��V���7�K�^ �ؐ�*8����0�L�-�`[N���a~��_��. Difficult Conversations (Douglas Stone) Notes, Books, Culture, Relationships 14 May 2017. The SPEAK model is a helpful tool to navigate challenging conversations. Start by telling them you value them as a colleague or appreciate their skills. Your job is to make them better. During difficult conversations, when the stakes and emotions are high, defensiveness in others, when responding, may derail all of your best intentions. First, let's look at why it's so important to have these conversations. It's time we focus on learning to listen. All Rights Reserved. The point of the conversation is not to prove that you are right, but to understand each person’s perspective and resolve the situation (even if it means setting boundaries with the other person). In Tough Conversations, Seek to Complete, Not Compete, Spinach in your Teeth Messages: The Art of Giving (and Receiving) Honest Feedback. If they deny or justify the behavior, be patient and ask them to "look in the mirror." The typical reaction from the person is appreciation for bringing this to their attention. Do not begin the conversation with pleasantries. Copyright © 2020 Studer Group. It might sound counter-intuitive, but the best place to start a difficult … Just like Apple co-founder Steve Jobs said, your job is not to be easy on people. Start With Your End Game. More about that in a minute. In addition, she said, try to keep emotion out of difficult conversations. Use real scenarios that individuals in the LDI or team meeting have created. %PDF-1.3 Handling Difficult Conversations Guidance, Tips and Best Practices. Context, Observation, Impact, and Next steps: Context: the circumstances, event or issue that you want to discuss. Minute 1: Make sure you have sufficient time to see the conversation through to the end. However, learning how to approach a difficult conversation is necessary regardless of your position at work. Difficult conversations can become more difficult the longer you wait. “Difficult Conversations” and to practice the skills it introduces key points Discuss the key takeaways from the lecture 10 mins personAl inventory Reflect on a difficult conversation you had recently 15 mins 3 5 prACtiCing skills In pairs, evaluate your performance against the seven steps of an effective conversation. Focus On Creating Value. This is a conversation that occurs at the time you witness the behavior to make the individual aware that their behavior is not consistent with your standards. Dr Tim Baker developed the Five Conversations Framework after finding that the traditional annual or bi-annual performance review has significant drawbacks. You're not telling the person they are "bad"; you are merely relating what you experienced. The third model is the Low Performer conversation. Difficult Conversations: Authentic Communication Leads to Greater Understanding and Teamwork Martha Lasley Abstract This article offers a practical approach to facilitating difficult conversations. At Studer Group®, we have three models for difficult conversations which are part of a leaders' toolkit. Start the conversation on a serious and professional note. How do you handle having to face a difficult conversation? Identity. If you manage people, work in Human Resources, or care about your friends at work, chances are good that one day you will need to hold a difficult conversation.Difficult conversations become necessary for a variety of reasons. Then let them know you heard or saw something that was uncharacteristic and not consistent with your Standards. A "Cup of Coffee Conversation" is typically precipitated when you see or hear a colleague exhibiting behaviors that are contrary to your Standards of Performance or Behavior. The hardest part is working up the courage to embark on such a nerve-wracking discussion. Start from the “third story.” If you do decide to raise a difficult issue, don’t lead in with your view or … After spiders, snakes and public speaking, people seem most afraid of having difficult conversations. Appreciation for bringing this to their words and observe their body language are also times it. 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